UFC

I have 2 beautiful,smart,loving children who are the sunshine in my universe, who give purpose to my day and who follow me wherever I go just to make sure I'm okay. At least I think that's what they're doing when they follow me to the bathroom, the bedroom, the laundry room, the kitchen, the broom closet... you get the idea.

My point is they are wonderful children but they have their moments...lots of them in fact. So many that my suspicion is that my children recently received notice that there is a casting call for a couple of new UFC fighters for the pee wee division without telling me and they are taking their commitment to be the best very seriously. Therefore, just to make sure they are able to enter the first round of try outs with all their extremities I am standing in as the referee.

This situation, while not unusual, is a bit curious as they only want to "practice" at home. They must not be ready for their big debut just yet because they are posing as gentle, civilized, courteous and accommodating little tots when under the care of others. How do they think they will make it in the UFC ring if they are not dedicated 24/7 to their "sport"?
You can imagine how hard it is for me to hear how wonderful they are, how polite, how helpful to each other and how well behaved they are when their future as ultimate fighters is on the line. I guess I am just going to have to put my foot down and demand that they retire before they have even made a name for themselves because I won't stand for mediocrity.